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Infallible: Wait...The Holy Father Said What???

Pope or Antipope? Has Pope Thomas I lost his mind, or is he about to usher in a historic papal paradigm shift?

If you are a fan of Christopher Buckley, Carl Hiaasen, and Dave Barry, prepare for Howard Siegel’s hefty dose of holy hilarity that takes the idea of The Divine Comedy literally.

 Infallible tells the story of Pope Thomas I, an admired populist pope who, during a State visit to the White House, trips over the First Lady’s annoying Pomeranian on the White House stairs and suffers a mild head injury. When he returns to Rome, he begins to openly question some of the most sacrosanct positions of his church ("What, my dear Cardinals, if 'Be fruitful and multiply' means we should plant apple trees and study mathematics?")

He seems to be a different man. Or is he?

 One day, he travels incognito to Savior Land, a colossal fundamentalist theme park and shopping mall outside of Dayton, Tennessee -- the site of the historic Scopes evolution trial. In the shadow of the park's Holy Roller Coaster, he interrupts the Jesus actor's performance of The Sermon on the Mount, rips Revelation from a Bible, causes a near-riot, and is arrested for trespassing, littering, disturbing the peace, and blasphemy. When he is taken to jail, he refuses to identify himself or post a modest bond of $100. He hires Connor Kerrigan, an attorney who led a legal crusade against child abuse by Catholic priests and insists on a jury trial in the same courthouse where Clarence Darrow and William Jennings Bryan fought their epic battle over teaching evolution in public schools.

The politicians of the city of Dayton and the owner of Savior Land anticipate a financial bonanza at the prospect of Scopes II. Meanwhile, back at the Vatican, all hell has broken loose. There is no equivalent of the 25th Amendment allowing a pope to be removed. The Pope's interpretation of scripture is infallible; he speaks for God, and this Pope begins to ponder whether his God may have changed his mind.

Is Pope Thomas I the spiritual leader for our times or something else?

A mixture of political comedy, social commentary, and dark humor -- Infallible is Swiftian satire that shows Mel Brooks was right when he said, "Humor is our defense against the universe."

Reviews for Everything That Lives And Moves

Howard Siegel has written a wonderful novel that brings together a large cast of desperate characters all on their way to a tragic and unexpected denouement. Like dozens of airplanes taking off from around the globe with each being vectored by a hidden force towards some world-shaking convergence in the sky. The unseen air traffic controller in this case involves a bit of science fiction: an advanced functional MRI machine that can literally image what a person or animal is experiencing in their mind’s eye. The images revealed during periods of maximal distress are so horrifying that they lead observers to depression, suicide, and ultimately societal upheaval. Nowadays, the machine’s capabilities seem more science and less fiction owing to the growing precision of these psychic probes. The characters populating the story range from marine biologists, slaughterhouse workers, neuroscientists, lawyers, a televangelist, an autistic Israeli boy, and even the president’s daughter; essentially almost every conceivable mortal. All are convincingly portrayed, often engaging in dialog worthy of a screenwriter collaboration of Aaron Sorkin with Larry David. Action scenes take place in locations ranging from an undersea kelp forest to corporate board rooms, from a midwestern cow college to the Vatican. Everything moving inexorably toward a surprising and shattering climax. The plot moves with irony and subtle humor and frequently references contemporary events to make the story utterly believable. So much of the novel’s background is fact-based that it is often difficult to know when literary license is intruding into today’s “breaking news.”

While the story itself is believable and compelling, it more importantly serves as a backdrop for exploring some of the most troubling philosophical questions that have vexed human consciousness for thousands of years. Among these are: the ubiquitous and casual cruelty of the natural world and theodicy – the effort to explain how a purportedly all-powerful and all-merciful god should allow such atrocities to occur; the rights of non-human animals and how they are routinely and egregiously violated; and the duties we humans owe to those “lesser” beings with whom we share the planet. This is the true significance of the book, deploying a fictional narrative to illuminate horrible truths the majority of us would prefer to ignore. As such it deserves rightful attention, not so much because it entertains (although it certainly does) but because it stimulates thought that may bring about needed change.

George Bates: Professor of Veterinary Medical Technology at Wilson College in Chambersburg, PA

Reviews for Ordinary Beasts

“Upending the premise of ‘fair game’ when only one side is armed with a weapon, Howard Siegel’s Ordinary Beasts: Hunting and Cultural Psychopathy heaps particular disdain on the idea that we’ honor’ animals by blasting them to death. Siegel rightly mocks any attempt by hunters to normalize the cruelty of killing for pleasure. His compelling arguments might give even the most defiant hunter pause, and non-hunters will come away with plenty of anti-hunting ammunition.”

Ingrid Newkirk, President
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA)


5.0 Out of 5 Stars
A ‘No Holds Barred Look At What Compels Some People To Hunt And Kill Animals For Fun

Ordinary Beasts is a personal, down-to-earth, sometimes humorous, often brutal examination of what compels some people to hunt and kill animals. Howard Siegel has the courage to ask the big questions we so often shy away from, like why some people enjoy killing and what this says about them, and why we seem to feel compelled to respect societal ‘norms’ and cultures even when they transgress our ethical ‘red lines.’ This accessible and thought-provoking exploration of a highly controversial issue makes for compelling, if at times uncomfortable, reading.

Mark Jones, Head of Policy at the Born Free Foundation


A short, inexpensive, but truly remarkable book that introduces the concept of “cultural psychopathy.” The “ordinary beasts” of the title referring not to any non-human entities but to that category of subhumans who voluntarily succumb to the blood-lust of sport hunting. To be distinguished from “extraordinary beasts” who are the more highly publicized psychopaths, the Bundys, the Gaceys, the Ramirezes who constitute the involuntary, hardwired psychopaths who have no choice about their lack of empathy and compassion. Both categories of beasts being united operationally by their obscene compulsion for thrill-killing.

Mr. Siegel cuts through all the self-serving claptrap that hunters regurgitate about their “sport,” it being all about “fair chase,” respecting game animals, conserving nature, and feeding hungry families. Along the way, he lacerates the likes of Jose Ortega y Gasset, patron saint of “ethical hunters,” with his profoundly weird justification for the lethal nexus of man and nature, served up in a souffle of Latin philoso-babble (imagine Ricardo Montebalm tripping on LSD and you get the picture). And he takes on with full frontal assault that most loathsome subspecies of the hunting genus, trophy hunters. Although this is a depressing, deadly serious subject (especially for the animal victims!), Mr. Siegel’s writing is so imbued with irony, mocking humor, and frequent reference to pop culture icons (everything from Teddy Bears to Opie Taylor) as to make this an easy, light-hearted read even as he pulls-no-punches in disposing of the hunting fraternity’s most hallowed sophistries.

The author is a deeply insightful, extraordinary man not only for his courage and candor in writing about the moral abomination of sport hunting but also because he took it upon himself to self-publish a book that was apparently too-hot-to-handle for the mainstream publishing media. Hunting apologists beware; you are figuratively and literally fish-in-a-barrel to Siegel’s pen.

George Bates, Associate Professor of Veterinary Medical Technology at Wilson College in Chambersburg, PA.


5.0 Out of 5 Stars 
Brilliant Treatment of Hunting

Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2019, ORDINARY BEASTS is one of the most well-reasoned books I have ever read. Siegel’s arguments are extremely compelling. His style is so engaging that, even though this is a DEADLY SERIOUS subject, he literally had me laughing while reading. Siegel’s mention of cultural psychopathy, the definition of fun, the unfair match, the concept that wildlife must earn our empathy, the normalization of cruelty, killing for hunter’s immediate gratification and self-pleasuring, and the thrill of the kill are a few things that stood out to me. ORDINARY BEASTS is a brilliant treatment of hunting, a must-read for anyone who opposes – or, for that matter, anyone who supports – hunting.

Gail E.


5.0 Out of 5 Stars 
Hunting Fair Game? It’s Not “Fair” and is Surely Not a “Game”!

Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2019Siegel challenges the reader to reevaluate his or her understanding of “hunting” and what motivates the hunter. This worthwhile treatise provides several perspectives, many examples, and “no fake news.” Well written with wry humor and easily read - go for it if you’re hunting the truth.

Chick Vladuchick


Reviews for The First Thing We Do is Kill All the Isms


5.0 Out Of 5 Stars
The Cure For All The Isms That Ail You

Howie's wit and anecdotes are so entertaining that his sharp social and political insights are nearly hidden in plain sight. But the truth and poignancy of his message keep rearing up its head between the belly laughs. You won't be able to help reexamining all of your own preconceptions about who you are, what you believe in and why, and how easily we can all get sucked into "crany" ideas and belief systems without even realizing it. Howie does a masterful job of not telling you what to think or believe but how to think about what you believe. It's a book you'll blaze through and want to laugh about and discuss with others.

Valentina


5.0 Out Of 5 Stars
A World View That Must Be Heard

Howie Siegel digs deep and reaches high. He confronts issues I'd thought about and many I hadn't even identified. He arrives at conclusions that, for the most part, I agree with. His book is written from the heart and from his big brain. He's done his research, as all good lawyers must, but he is a philosopher in lawyer's clothing. He is also extremely funny (and self-deprecating).

I highly recommend this book. You will enjoy it immensely and save lots of time thinking about worldly issues because he has done it for you. Read this book to figure out what you think about our world. And then draw your own conclusions. Bravo, Howie!!

Rock Syracuse


5.0 Out Of 5 Stars
A Clarion Call For Reason

I am a card-carrying member of the choir to which Mr. Siegel preaches. That said, this essay is funny, thought-provoking, and simply provoking. He could have gone further on another "ism"- nationalism- but this is a small nit to pick. It should be read by every book club in America and then passed on to relatives. Don't let the humor and sarcasm fool you, there are serious thoughts going on here, even if it tends to throw the intellectual baby out with the bathwater.

Piaffe


5.0 Out Of 5 Stars
Brilliant, Thought Provoking, Soul Enlightening

Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2013This is a brilliant, thought-provoking, and soul-enlightening journey. We are all searching for meaning. Finally, we have a road map. A way into the mysteries and profound truths of life. I loved it and am indebted to the author for this great gift.


From The Forward: The Beast and the Light in the Garden of Eden: Making Sense of Genesis and Animal Suffering

"Siegel’s philosophical conclusion is that, as humans, we are all witnesses; as humans, we do not get a free pass on the suffering of others, nor do we have the luxury of sayin,g “I don’t want to think about it.”

Gail Eisntz, Author